Thoughts

Love Dumped

I am the child who wants to have possession of something so badly that my passion for it squeezes the very life out of my object of adoration. In my clumsy, inexperienced hands I grasp at things and break them. Somehow I think that my control over them will bring them to safety but in fact crushes the breath out, the joy sucked right out.
My love is so inadequate, so inexperienced.  My desire for my children, my husband, my family to resemble my “Biblical ideal” has been driving a wedge between me and those I love.
Thankfully God breathes grace and mercy, whispering softly to my heart, “Just let go- you can’t do this, you don’t know how.  Your love alone will never be enough for them. That is why you need me, because your love seeks to control, thinking that by your guidance they will become who they were made to be.  Don’t you see?  I have the whole world in my hands, I create each one with a purpose.  There is nothing you can do to help or hinder the purpose that I have already laid down before the creation of this world.
That is why you need me, the fullness of who I AM.  Only my love is enough, be filled with me, breathe me in, then out.  Let my love fill you and overflow onto them.  Pour it out, lavish it on,  there is more than enough.  NO ONE has ever DIED by accepting, soaking in, giving away too much of my love (in fact they receive ETERNAL life).  There is enough for all,  I AM breaking my heart open for all, dumping it out, sloppy, messy,  overwhelming, covering a multitude.”
This leaves me to realize that only God is enough.  My love will only break those I love because my love is so inadequate.  God’s love is deeper, truer, purer, better than anything I could ever ask or imagine.
SO BREATHE IT IN!  THEN OUT- GIVE IT AWAY!  There is more than enough of His perfect love to go around!

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3 thoughts on “Love Dumped

  1. Cam says:

    I really like this most recent post Abster. I also see that you have the gift of putting written words together like your papa :)
    I love you and owe you a phone call!

  2. Dear Abigail,

    Your love for your family is so beautiful. I want to encourage you to not just soak in God’s love for them but for you as well. Sometimes our insecurities in our own standing with God’s love hinders us from truly loving others the way he intended it. So remember daughter of the King that God’s love for you does not depend on what you do for him or how you love your family but simply on your creation by him, for his glory. The lover of the universe asks you to come away, beloved; and He is the only one who knows how to love you completely.

    With God’s love and mine, Heather

  3. rebornjumpman says:

    I married a truly God fearing woman. You are a wonder and the fact that you are constantly humbling yourself to the Lord encourages me to be right with God as well. Your words are like a beautiful song lifted up from a ravine. I love you.

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