Life can be lonely, especially in the screaming and crying and bad attitudes. It is difficult to raise children and even more so when one is a very busy, very strong-willed child. Friends don’t want to spend time with you because your child wears them out, others wonder what you are doing wrong and offer discipline advice. It is difficult having play dates and going new places because your child struggles interacting correctly and staying calm in new situations. It is a lonely place to be, you start to wonder if you have offended people. No one invites you over, no one calls just to see how you are doing. You call to get together with someone but everyone is busy. Maybe this is how many moms feel, in some ways I hope it is just to know I am not alone. It makes me wonder, is this the sad epidemic that has come to pass because of our desire for independence as a society? I believe it is symptom of the reality of living farther apart and keeping ourselves consumed in our own world.
The idea that it takes a village seems to be exiting quickly from our daily existence. And the sad reality is that we are both saddened and relieved. Because at the end of the day if they can’t embrace my crazy little family for all they are why would I want to be around them, right? Or is there more to it than even my selfishness and desire for self preservation? Maybe some peoples opinions and attitudes hurt me, especially when they are being critical, opinionated, and judgmental. But what if the things that happen to me and even to my family are not always meant to make me happy but are always meant to bring me closer to holiness.
We need to live our lives in light of eternity, not focused on the hurts that this world brings but on the goal to become ever more like Christ. Then we can focus more on our goal and less on our hurt. I can give grace instead of frustration, love instead of anger, compassion instead of judgment. Not because my hurt and emotions aren’t valid but because my goal to be more like Christ is overwhelmingly more important than my desire to have my momentary hurts aired. And because when I unload my emotions on others it assumes that my emotions are the only ones that are valid. I have noticed that too many times I allow my emotions to control me instead of controlling my emotions. It is very hurtful not only for the one I am unloading on but also for myself when later I realize that how I behaved was not at all like my Saviour. So I will keep calling, keep loving, keep pushing through my hurt and show compassion to others. Because at the end of the day no other thing in my life is more important than becoming more like Christ everyday. And maybe, just maybe, God wants to use my crazy family to bring them more into holiness