Can opinions kill?

If we must give our opinions let us do it for the betterment of others not to the detriment of relationships.  Let us not assume that opinions given in such liberal a fashion as any public forum provides will bring anything but grief to those who might be so inclined as to disagree.  We should consider our relationship with Christ and His desire for our lives before our opinions. “‘Everything is permissible’- but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’- but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:23-24  In these verses Paul is talking to the Corinthians who were using their freedom as believers to make excuses for poor choices- poor choices that affected their witness and hurt their brothers in Christ.  He is quoting them as saying roughly: [In Christ] everything is permissible. Paul responds by saying yes- but not beneficial, not constructive.  The believers were struggling with doing what was right in the sight of all.  Paul goes on to say (paraphrased 10:31-32) Do all things for the glory of God that you might not cause your brother to stumble.  And here is the kicker in verse 33: “even as I try to please everybody in every way.  For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.”  Seems to me like the only thing Paul cared about was spreading the gospel.  These verses are a few of many that talk about putting others before yourself and that our witness is important. At the end of the day our ministry to others and our desire to see not only non-believers come to know Christ but also our believing friends grow deeper is more important than our potentially divisive opinion.

So before you update your status about the latest political or social issue consider that your net is wide in the scope of public forums.  No matter how fiercely you believe in what you are writing know that there might be a friend out there that was just hurt or someone you have been ministering to that just turned away.  And unless you can select your specific audience to be only those that agree with you, there will be people hurt.  It is not worth losing even one heart to say our opinion in such a public and indiscriminating way.  Words once written and read can not be undone easily.

Love Dumped

I am the child who wants to have possession of something so badly that my passion for it squeezes the very life out of my object of adoration. In my clumsy, inexperienced hands I grasp at things and break them. Somehow I think that my control over them will bring them to safety but in fact crushes the breath out, the joy sucked right out.
My love is so inadequate, so inexperienced.  My desire for my children, my husband, my family to resemble my “Biblical ideal” has been driving a wedge between me and those I love.
Thankfully God breathes grace and mercy, whispering softly to my heart,”Just let go- you can’t do this, you don’t know how, I didn’t create humans with that ability.  Your love will never be good enough for them. That is why you need me, because your love seeks to control, thinking that by your guidance they will become who they were made to be.  Don’t you see?  I have the whole world in myself hands, I create each one with a purpose.  There is nothing you can do to help or hinder the purpose that I have already laid down before the creations of this world.
That is why you need me, the fullness of who I AM.  Only my love is enough, be filled with me, breathe me in, then out.  Let my love fill you and overflow onto them.  Pour it out, lavish it on,  there is more than enough.  NO ONE has ever DIED by accepting, soaking in, giving away too much of my love (in fact they receive ETERNAL life).  There is enough for all,  I AM breaking my heart open for all, dumping it out, sloppy, messy,  overwhelming, covering a multitude.”
This leaves me to realize that only God is enough.  My love will only break those I love because my love is so inadequate.  God’s love is deeper, truer, purer, better than anything I could ever ask or imagine.
SO BREATHE IT IN!  THEN OUT- GIVE IT AWAY!  There is more than enough of His perfect love to go around!

Holiness means more…

Life can be lonely, especially in the screaming and crying and bad attitudes.  It is difficult to raise children and even more so when one is a very busy, very strong-willed child.  Friends don’t want to spend time with you because your child wears them out, others wonder what you are doing wrong and offer discipline advice.  It is difficult having play dates and going new places because your child struggles interacting correctly and staying calm in new situations.  It is a lonely place to be, you start to wonder if you have offended people.  No one invites you over, no one calls just to see how you are doing.  You call to get together with someone but everyone is busy.  Maybe this is how many moms feel, in some ways I hope it is just to know I am not alone.  It makes me wonder, is this the sad epidemic that has come to pass because of our desire for independence as a society?  I believe it is symptom of the reality of living farther apart and keeping ourselves consumed in our own world.

The idea that it takes a village seems to be exiting quickly from our daily existence.  And the sad reality is that we are both saddened and relieved.  Because at the end of the day if they can’t embrace my crazy little family for all they are why would I want to be around them, right? Or is there more to it than even my selfishness and desire for self preservation? Maybe some peoples opinions and attitudes hurt me, especially when they are being critical, opinionated, and judgmental.  But what if the things that happen to me and even to my family are not always meant to make me happy but are always meant to bring me closer to holiness.

We need to  live our lives in light of eternity, not focused on the hurts that this world brings but on the goal to become ever more like Christ.  Then we can focus more on our goal and less on our hurt. I can give grace instead of frustration, love instead of anger, compassion instead of judgment. Not because my hurt and emotions aren’t valid but because my goal to be more like Christ is overwhelmingly more important than my desire to have my momentary hurts aired.  And because when I unload my emotions on others it  assumes that my emotions are the only ones that are valid. I have noticed that too many times I allow my emotions to control me instead of controlling my emotions.  It is very hurtful not only for the one I am unloading on but also for myself when later I realize that how I behaved was not at all like my Saviour.  So I will keep calling, keep loving, keep pushing through my hurt and show compassion to others.  Because at the end of the day no other thing in my life is more important than becoming more like Christ everyday.  And maybe, just maybe, God wants to use my crazy family to bring them more into holiness

only YOU

I cry out to you from my sorrow,

From the depths of my burdens,

You are the one, God, who carries me.

I cry out from my confusion,

My overwhelmed heart is breaking,

I seek your face,

Need your embrace.

Only you are enough,

I can never have too much.

 

I don’t know which way to go,

I just want to follow,

but your light has been dimmed by the lies of this world.

I’m living fix to fix,

Instead of having you always in the mix-

of this crazy life.

I seek your face,

Desperate for your embrace.

 

I hear your voice,

But can’t separate it from all the noise,

I’m laying down my emotions,

my selfishness, I long for you

 

Wash over me,

Make me clean.

Renew my spirit,

Restore, Refresh, Renew.

only YOU, only YOU, only YOU!

God changes the hearts…

I know that God is the one who changes the hearts of man and He brings us to Himself so praying for others is at the heart of this but I am just not always sure how to pray.  I have just been thinking a lot over Hell and eternity and what it means for all of us, and through these thoughts I have been so struck with the reality of the narrow gate that Jesus talks about leading to heaven.  There are so many nominal Christians in America and it can be so difficult to minister to them because they feel like they already have a relationship with God but their life shows no fruit.  I struggle with knowing how to bring God up in conversation without being “judgmental” or “critical”  I pray for them often that God would soften their hearts but I feel as if I am not doing enough.  I think more often than not I am more afraid to push people away by to much “religious talk” that I instead say nothing.  How do I get past this feeling of constantly selling God short, not being enough and yet also worried that if I am too much it will push people away.  The idea is not just to cause people to come to belief in who Christ is and that He died for us but that their lives would show real change.  The hardest part is that many people don’t want to submit their lives to God because they are afraid that they will be missing out.  Unfortunately they don’t realize that they already live by some moral code and that moral code is usually based out of biblical principals not because the Bible is an overwhelming part of our society but because God has written these things on their hearts.So how do you minister to a person who refuses to give over control of their lives to the only thing in all of creation who can actually help them to achieve true peace and joy.  We see them crying out for it, every conversation is laced with the pain of not having those things in their lives, how do we tell them with out “shoving our beliefs down their throat”.  As a mother it can be very easy to see why our God sets limits on us, it is for our own good.  I don’t know how many times a day I say to my sons, “you need to obey because mommy knows best.” Essentially saying, “you don’t see the big picture right now, but if you keep doing what you are doing you will get hurt.”  That is what God, the creator of the universe is saying, He made us, He made everything, don’t you think He sees the big, big picture? What if His words to us are for our good, to keep us from getting hurt, not to stifle us but to help us blossom into what He created us for?

Sure you can get ahead by lying and cheating and doing all those selfish things, but at what cost?  If we are really truly honest with ourselves, we hate to be alone, we hate quiet moments because we know that eventually the guilt starts to creep in.  Don’t believe me? Spend one week, one day, one hour even just in silence thinking over your day or the day before that. If we are truly honest with ourselves it can be overwhelming all the things we can think of that maybe we didn’t handle in the best way, all the people we hurt because we chose not to control ourselves and let our emotions run rampant.  Because that is what our society is about right? Express yourself! who cares how anyone else feels!  Trampling all over those we say we love, and acting out of selfishness and not service.

So where does this leave us? It leaves us in desperate need for a creator a GOD (you remember, the guy with all the morals and control issues) well He loves us so much that he became man.  Stop and think about that, GOD, he has EVERYTHING, wants for nothing, is IN CHARGE of EVERYTHING, He chose to humble Himself and become man, and not just any man, a man who was born in a stable with poop and stuff, he labored his whole life using his hands to make things.  Talk about humbling yourself, and He did all this just so that you can know how much He loves you and that there is a better way, it is for OUR BENEFIT that He did this, not his own!  And when He died on the cross, I am sure that the nails, and crown of thorns, and the flesh on his back that was torn from being beaten was painful.  But that is not what he was overwhelmed with, it was with our sins, all the sins that you and I ever did, are, and will commit.  He died for those sins before you were even born, HE DIED so you could know eternal life with Him, and not only that but so that you could live in freedom and achieve your full potential here on earth.  Talk about crazy love, that’s some pretty intense stuff!  So give it a try, read your Bible, really read it, you know even in the tough stuff that might be difficult to understand.  Start at the beginning, in Genesis and keep reading even when you feel overwhelmed.  Because the Bible gives you this whole beautiful picture of how from the very moment that God had to ask Adam and Eve to leave the garden He has been working throughout history to restore us to Himself.  God is so good and so faithful, I guarantee that if you choose to read His word and seek something more you will be more blessed than you can ever ask or imagine, in fact His word promises that: “Ask , and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

Christmas…

Having children really changes how we see a lot of the things, we are more empathetic to the mom in the grocery store with the wailing toddler because we have all been there.  We start to see how life can be better for them then it ever was for us and how we can provide for them more than what we had growing up.  My desire is for my children to far exceed where I am spiritually and relationally, that they would be bold and courageous, humble and compassionate.  The hardest part is when you realize that our children are little reflections of ourselves.  How many times have you heard your child say something and know that they are saying it because they have heard you say it?  So what does that mean for us as parents when our children look to us for guidance, they emulate us in all that we do because lets face it, they are learning to be humans and we are the closest humans they have to learn from. Granted they have a will of their own and strive hard to please themselves, but what if we can teach them a different way?

This brings me to my point what is Christmas really all about?  I guess some would say it is about gifts and Santa and that feeling you get, it is about giving and caring more about someone else.  These ideas are valid and some of them seem to come from the true meaning behind Christmas.  I have felt like it is so cliche to say the “reason for the season” but is so true.  We get so caught up in ourselves and our own materialism that we can’t even see the purpose.  I think at one point in time almost all of us have felt that let down when the last present under the tree is opened and we think: “is that it?” All of this hype all of this shopping and waiting and fighting and stressing and then that’s it?

Searching for the elephant

The other day I had to take the boys to the store, I just needed to get a few things but of course with a toddler in the cart and a baby on my back a few things is always a long trip.  You know what it is like trying to keep a toddler entertained while they are sitting in a shopping cart and you are trying to focus on what you are doing.

On this particular occasion we were looking for a butter dish at Bed, Bath and Beyond, cause, you know they always send you those coupons so you have to find something to use them for.  Anyway as we are entering the store E says, “elephant? Where’s elephant?” Of course I have no idea why he would think there is an elephant at Bed, Bath and Beyond but I totally jump on the idea of something that will keep him occupied while I am trying to find a suitable butter dish.  So I say, “Oh, I think he is hiding, we had better look for him, can you help me?”  As we are going throughout the store to find the “elephant” I am making elephant noises and encouraging E to look for him.  He is saying, “elephant, where are you?”  This goes on for a good five to ten minutes until we finally get to the section with the butter dishes and of course I can’t find one that I like.

At this point E is really excited to find the elephant and I have decided that we are in desperate need of a butter dish.  So I say, “I don’t think the elephant is here anymore I think he is next door in Target.”  I know what you are thinking, I am very clever because now I will get to go to Target and not have to worry about entertaining my toddler with anything other than a pretend elephant.  So we go next door still searching for the elephant and the butter dish.  I finally find a butter dish that is moderately suitable and we start to leave.  This really upsets E, and I realize I have backed my self into a corner where now he is going to have to find the elephant or he will be greatly disappointed.  We go to the toy section and I figure that there has to be a toy elephant there somewhere, right? Nope.  Thankfully I have a very easy going boy and when I tell him that I just can’t find one he understands, but now I feel so bad because I have gotten his hopes up. So I go to the bargain area and find a dinosaur and we buy it so that I can feel better, and he can have something cool.  As we are leaving the store I say to him, “What are you going to name your dinosaur?” He thinks about it for a minute then gives me a huge grin and say, “Elephant!”  Got to love that kid.